Ok, so I wrote this poem during our recent holiday.
St. Aidan in Cornwall, 2013 A.D.
At first all is still
But I linger, and I linger more until -
Life begins to seep,
Draws my eyes from former asphalt sleep,
Wooed awake by dreams.
Two doves dart from a green quiver
Cabbage whites flicker to the flowers
Swooping gulls peck pickings in the brown ploughed field -
As the day breathes its last, long sigh.
What Way of Life; what Call
Could grasp this playful peace,
This teeming tranquility?
Could my Celtic feet tramp the deeps of England
And ring again
The soft urgency of the Gospel bell?
Wednesday 21 August 2013
Wednesday 10 July 2013
2013 - The Sketch So Far...
Hello dear friends
So this is another wee update on where we are at as a family on our journey through life dahn sahf in Bath. Again, it is part reflection, part ramble, part therapy, part support letter. Thanks to EVERYONE who has been supporting us financially, in prayer and in person. We love and need you so much.
More Ch-ch-ch-changes
Amazingly we have almost been in Bath for a year! Having felt pretty settled (at least practically) for the last 10 months or so, things are about to turn on their head again. Baby Little No.2 is due in September! We're so excited :) Hannah's contract with English Heritage expired about a week ago, essentially meaning an early maternity leave with no job to go back to at the end of it. She had a brilliant time there, and worked really hard with the fascinating archive of the Laing construction company.
Mercifully Hannah gets statutory maternity pay, which means financially things will be tight but ok. Amazingly the sums add up - not to very much admittedly, but we're TOTALLY OK up til April 2014, thanks largely to those back home in Scotland who have been supporting us financially. Thank you, humbly from the bottom of our hearts. We are so undeserving, but we are so grateful!
This total ok-ness is dependent on a few hard things - we won't be able to pay for Aidan to go to nursery any more which is a shame, as he really loves it and has made some wonderfully sweet little friendships there. The nursery have blessed his little socks off too with brilliant care and loads of fun and educational activity. So Hannah is going to have to look after a toddler and a newborn simultaneously - we know this is possible, but still not easy! Dad will of course still be doing his bit! Post-April... who knows! Well, God does.
Mercifully Hannah gets statutory maternity pay, which means financially things will be tight but ok. Amazingly the sums add up - not to very much admittedly, but we're TOTALLY OK up til April 2014, thanks largely to those back home in Scotland who have been supporting us financially. Thank you, humbly from the bottom of our hearts. We are so undeserving, but we are so grateful!
This total ok-ness is dependent on a few hard things - we won't be able to pay for Aidan to go to nursery any more which is a shame, as he really loves it and has made some wonderfully sweet little friendships there. The nursery have blessed his little socks off too with brilliant care and loads of fun and educational activity. So Hannah is going to have to look after a toddler and a newborn simultaneously - we know this is possible, but still not easy! Dad will of course still be doing his bit! Post-April... who knows! Well, God does.
College
I have just completed the first year of my Graduate Diploma in Kingdom Theology at Westminster Theological Centre! One more year to go! It's been an amazing, painful, disorientating, beautiful experience. Low points: crashing and burning on one essay after re-interpreting the question so it wasn't actually the original question any more... oh and getting horribly lost driving home on my own from Cheltenham! High points: having one essay published in an online journal, and giving a short paper at the inaugural Kingdom Theology Conference run by WTC and Trinity College Bristol just a couple weeks ago! The ethos and vision of the college is SO refreshing, so full of God and so beautiful. It's absolutely the best course I could ever have hoped to have done.
Academic achievements and non-achievements aside, it has been tough to keep focused on the main things: growing in my relationship with God and learning how to minister more faithfully and effectively for him. Studying theology gives you both a clearer and a murkier picture of who God is (or might be, or can be perceived to be, etc...) This is a really strange experience. Jesus Christ remains for me the pinnacle of all existence. I have managed periodically (but often not soon enough) to throw myself into his arms - his merciful, tough, tender, revolutionary arms.
Jesus has taught me so many things this year - about who I am, how I respond to life, what I believe, and why any of that even matters. Do I feel closer to God at the end of it? Possibly further away, sadly, but that is more to do with my own lack of discipline and selfishness. Paradoxically, that I could even have this realisation is, of course, itself a work of the Holy Spirit, closer with each passing day.
"I am a man of unclean lips!" said Isaiah in terror, when suddenly closer to God than he'd ever been. But, when touched with the pain and the healing of God, he heard God ask, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?". And trembling boldly, he replied, "Here I am, send me."
I'm still standing, and I'm still willing. I'm still saying: 'Here I am, send me!'
So screeching to theological halt this summer, I'm overwhelmingly relieved to have a break from the pressure, but totally can't wait to get into Year 2! It's going to be great, with courses on the History of Christian Spirituality, Acts, and Doctrine to look forward to, and a brilliant community of disciples to do it all with.
Church work
The Holy Trinity family is a wonderful place to be, albeit with the potential to be even more wonderful!
Church life continues to be hectic, which is good in that we are a very active, hard-working bunch. The constant challenge though, is focus, direction and prioritisation. And overwork of course. Worship leading itself can be draining and hard, but I am constantly reminded what a privilege it is too (and jolly good fun at times as well!)
I recently had the chance to pilot my Little Worship idea, in an all-age service. I preached on the Mustard Seed parable, and led the whole thing on ukelele - which is rapidly becoming my instrument of choice - with just a flute and female voice accompanying. It was really cool :)
Getting alongside people in and around the worship team is the best part of the job. I've recently starting mentoring a young guy of 18, and have also been spending some time with an older man. He has various challenges, including mental health ones. These relationships are beautiful, unpredictable and energising. I'm starting to feel a real call to disciple others, even as I struggle to live as a disciple myself.
So many wonderful messages from my St Thomas' young people as well have really inspired and encouraged me. Having invested in those young people's lives, I can see so much fruit now that Jesus has made to grow, blossom and mature. To bring something of the transforming touch of Jesus to a few people's lives: what else would I want to do with my life?
I'm still asking myself why God called us to Bath and this church so specifically. I have a couple ideas to do with the above, but I'll just have to keep on exploring that one!
Wider Ministry
I'm continuing to lead worship for the Filling Station - the rural Holy Spirit-tastic ministry I help out with - in two villages, Beckington and Chew Magna. It has been a real blessing to be part of what God is doing in the countryside. In terms of my own 'developing' (read: all-over-the-place) sense of call, it has been particularly fascinating to hear some of the speakers - often older Anglican priests who've totally gone the distance and are still full of oomph for the Lord. That's been kind of cool and has spoken to me.
I'm continuing to write songs and actually played a gig the other week (thanks to my brother-in-law!) Again, I did the whole thing on ukelele, and it felt right to be so exposed and vulnerable, and to share a little of my faith. It felt pretty punk rock actually (to me anyway... yeah yeah whatever! I know what I mean.) We did a lot of psychological profiling at college this year, and one thing that really stood out for me was a (prophetic) word that I should do more performing of my songs and explaining of them. This really amazed me. I sort of know it's true, but at the same time I'm so wary of the whole self-promotion thing (read: I'm wary of being a dick) that I end up kind of paralysed where others might be more assertive. Still, maybe I just gotta look for those God-opportunities when they come around. There's definitely scope for some kind of music scene-based missional activity. Another avenue to explore.
Forward then!!
So what's in the pipeline in the next few months? Surviving financially would be good, but we kind of feel that if we follow God's lead that that will be ok. If you are the praying kind, it would be an AMAZING load off our minds if someone would rent our house in Linlithgow pretty soon. Our previous tenants were exemplary - but they moved out! So we need to get that mortgage covered asap.
If you feel called to pray more generally - please pray for me that I work out what I'm going to do with my life and ministry in the longer term. I want to let God use me to build something that lasts. Pray for Hannah too. She loves her career, but it's on hold for a little while, and that's hard. We have had some amazing family times recently though - such a blessing from God.
God has been so faithful in providing. Stepping out for him has been at times a crazy and exhilarating adventure, and at times an un-glamourous slog! We've seen him move at every turn though, and we have so much to praise him for.
Thank you for reading!
God bless
Laterz!
Martin, Hannah, Aidan and Bump!
xxx
Academic achievements and non-achievements aside, it has been tough to keep focused on the main things: growing in my relationship with God and learning how to minister more faithfully and effectively for him. Studying theology gives you both a clearer and a murkier picture of who God is (or might be, or can be perceived to be, etc...) This is a really strange experience. Jesus Christ remains for me the pinnacle of all existence. I have managed periodically (but often not soon enough) to throw myself into his arms - his merciful, tough, tender, revolutionary arms.
Jesus has taught me so many things this year - about who I am, how I respond to life, what I believe, and why any of that even matters. Do I feel closer to God at the end of it? Possibly further away, sadly, but that is more to do with my own lack of discipline and selfishness. Paradoxically, that I could even have this realisation is, of course, itself a work of the Holy Spirit, closer with each passing day.
"I am a man of unclean lips!" said Isaiah in terror, when suddenly closer to God than he'd ever been. But, when touched with the pain and the healing of God, he heard God ask, "Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?". And trembling boldly, he replied, "Here I am, send me."
I'm still standing, and I'm still willing. I'm still saying: 'Here I am, send me!'
So screeching to theological halt this summer, I'm overwhelmingly relieved to have a break from the pressure, but totally can't wait to get into Year 2! It's going to be great, with courses on the History of Christian Spirituality, Acts, and Doctrine to look forward to, and a brilliant community of disciples to do it all with.
Church work
The Holy Trinity family is a wonderful place to be, albeit with the potential to be even more wonderful!
I recently had the chance to pilot my Little Worship idea, in an all-age service. I preached on the Mustard Seed parable, and led the whole thing on ukelele - which is rapidly becoming my instrument of choice - with just a flute and female voice accompanying. It was really cool :)
Getting alongside people in and around the worship team is the best part of the job. I've recently starting mentoring a young guy of 18, and have also been spending some time with an older man. He has various challenges, including mental health ones. These relationships are beautiful, unpredictable and energising. I'm starting to feel a real call to disciple others, even as I struggle to live as a disciple myself.
So many wonderful messages from my St Thomas' young people as well have really inspired and encouraged me. Having invested in those young people's lives, I can see so much fruit now that Jesus has made to grow, blossom and mature. To bring something of the transforming touch of Jesus to a few people's lives: what else would I want to do with my life?
I'm still asking myself why God called us to Bath and this church so specifically. I have a couple ideas to do with the above, but I'll just have to keep on exploring that one!
Wider Ministry
I'm continuing to lead worship for the Filling Station - the rural Holy Spirit-tastic ministry I help out with - in two villages, Beckington and Chew Magna. It has been a real blessing to be part of what God is doing in the countryside. In terms of my own 'developing' (read: all-over-the-place) sense of call, it has been particularly fascinating to hear some of the speakers - often older Anglican priests who've totally gone the distance and are still full of oomph for the Lord. That's been kind of cool and has spoken to me.
I'm continuing to write songs and actually played a gig the other week (thanks to my brother-in-law!) Again, I did the whole thing on ukelele, and it felt right to be so exposed and vulnerable, and to share a little of my faith. It felt pretty punk rock actually (to me anyway... yeah yeah whatever! I know what I mean.) We did a lot of psychological profiling at college this year, and one thing that really stood out for me was a (prophetic) word that I should do more performing of my songs and explaining of them. This really amazed me. I sort of know it's true, but at the same time I'm so wary of the whole self-promotion thing (read: I'm wary of being a dick) that I end up kind of paralysed where others might be more assertive. Still, maybe I just gotta look for those God-opportunities when they come around. There's definitely scope for some kind of music scene-based missional activity. Another avenue to explore.
Forward then!!
So what's in the pipeline in the next few months? Surviving financially would be good, but we kind of feel that if we follow God's lead that that will be ok. If you are the praying kind, it would be an AMAZING load off our minds if someone would rent our house in Linlithgow pretty soon. Our previous tenants were exemplary - but they moved out! So we need to get that mortgage covered asap.
If you feel called to pray more generally - please pray for me that I work out what I'm going to do with my life and ministry in the longer term. I want to let God use me to build something that lasts. Pray for Hannah too. She loves her career, but it's on hold for a little while, and that's hard. We have had some amazing family times recently though - such a blessing from God.
God has been so faithful in providing. Stepping out for him has been at times a crazy and exhilarating adventure, and at times an un-glamourous slog! We've seen him move at every turn though, and we have so much to praise him for.
Thank you for reading!
God bless
Laterz!
Martin, Hannah, Aidan and Bump!
xxx
Friday 1 February 2013
Little Worship!
I'm working on an idea called 'Little Worship' - NOT, as it first sounds, that everyone worships me! In fact the exact opposite! It's worship, but done in a 'little' way.
I'm taking my theological cue from Jesus' Parables, in which he kingdom of God is constantly compared to something little - a tiny mustard seed, a seed growing in the earth or scattered into soil, a pearl, a coin, a bit of yeast.
What can we make from this 'littleness' of the kingdom (or at least the 'littleness' of its coming)?
What can we make of Jesus' attitude to the 'little' people he met - children, Zaccheus (the small-in-stature tax collector) and also those who simply felt little - insignificant or marginalised.
EDIT:
Just found this wonderful post on another blog quoting Pope Benedict and Chesterton on EXACTLY what I am talking about:
http://love2learnblog.blogspot.co.uk/2007/04/theology-of-littleness.html
I'm taking my theological cue from Jesus' Parables, in which he kingdom of God is constantly compared to something little - a tiny mustard seed, a seed growing in the earth or scattered into soil, a pearl, a coin, a bit of yeast.
What can we make from this 'littleness' of the kingdom (or at least the 'littleness' of its coming)?
What can we make of Jesus' attitude to the 'little' people he met - children, Zaccheus (the small-in-stature tax collector) and also those who simply felt little - insignificant or marginalised.
So much of our worship seems to try and reflect the magnitude, the majesty, the ineffable sublimity (to quote one hymn!) of God. I risk being charged with cynicism when I point out that all this is, of course, doomed to failure. How can our expression of worship ever hope to match (or even invoke) the terrible, beautiful awesomeness of God?
I wonder then, whether we might be better pouring energy into making our worship smaller rather than bigger.
The ukelele I recently got given by my dear youth group in Scotland has been a revelation to me (as someone whose life's work has been intent on making bigger and bigger noises with a guitar). Suddendly I have this instrument that is physically little, and only makes 'little' sounds. My songwriting has changed too - only little songs come out of the ukelele.
All of this is set against a backdrop of thinking and puzzling about how to do all-age worship. I'm crazily envisaging a church service where everything is little - all the instruments are toy-sized and make little sounds (glockenspiels, recorders, harmonicas, ukeleles, finger cymbals). Our teaching would come in a little chunk, and speak to the little people within us, among us and around us.
We learn to be mustard seeds before rushing to invite the birds to nest in our branches.
Humility. Littleness. Meekness, which is power under wraps, and all the more powerful for it.
Little Worship!
Just found this wonderful post on another blog quoting Pope Benedict and Chesterton on EXACTLY what I am talking about:
http://love2learnblog.blogspot.co.uk/2007/04/theology-of-littleness.html
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